Musk’s Bold Move: 83,000 US Navy Jobs Cut as He Unveils ‘Shiba Inu’ Barge Initiative

Elon Musk to Shake Up Navy’s Shipbuilding agency with Bold New Plan

In a surprising twist that has both defense analysts and internet enthusiasts buzzing, sources within the Pentagon have revealed that Elon Musk is set to overhaul NAVSEA, the U.S. Navy’s notoriously inefficient shipbuilding division. Next week, he plans to let go of all 83,000 federal employees in a move aimed at streamlining operations.

musk’s vision includes replacing NAVSEA with a new agency dubbed Shiba Inu Naval Force—yes, named after the popular cryptocurrency. This initiative continues the trend of naming government projects after internet phenomena, reminiscent of previous efforts during Trump’s administration. The official proclamation is expected at an upcoming rally in Houma,Louisiana—a location chosen for its unique character and proximity to some of America’s last operational shipyards.

“NAVSEA has been an exmaple of inefficiency,” Musk stated during an impromptu Twitter Spaces chat. “They haven’t managed to deliver any ships on schedule or within budget this century. We’re shifting from bureaucracy to barge power.”

The acronym SHIBA INU stands for Strategic High Impact Barge Artillery Inexpensive Naval Upshift—a mouthful that reflects Musk’s enterprising plans for naval modernization.

Interestingly enough, instead of setting up shop in the Pentagon as one might expect, shiba Inu will operate out of a refurbished trailer park previously utilized by the Cajun Navy in houma. Rear Admiral Buck Tumescent will lead this new venture and emphasized America’s strengths: “We excel at building large barges and deploying Tomahawk missiles—so why not combine them?”

Think tanks are already weighing in on this unconventional strategy. Experts from McKinsey & Co., Brookings Institution, and Hudson Institute have praised it for leveraging Mississippi’s modular barge system effectively.

“A single towboat can push multiple barges simultaneously,” noted Brookings analyst Alister Muff while adjusting his glasses. “Imagine one barge dedicated solely to drones while another carries fuel or even snacks! The possibilities are endless.”

However, critics point out that this isn’t exactly groundbreaking; similar ideas were proposed during the Littoral Combat Ship program which resulted in limited success.

When questioned about these think tank suggestions during a late-night livestream on X (formerly Twitter), Musk dismissed them outright: “That’s just overcomplicating things! Let’s keep it straightforward—tomahawks on barges is our focus.”

Meanwhile, maritime experts are raising eyebrows over practical concerns regarding how 42 connected inland barges would fare against rough seas like those found in the North Atlantic—a topic that left scholar Sal Mercogliano visibly distressed during a live broadcast where he attempted to illustrate hydrodynamics using LEGO models.

“It was quite alarming,” recounted a local fire chief who responded when Mercogliano experienced distress live on air. “We managed to stabilize him with some hydration and expert advice about hull design principles.”

In other news related but seemingly unrelated developments within military circles: The Marine Corps has announced its own crypto-themed initiative called FLOKI (Forward Littoral Operations Kommand Initiative), which will reportedly be based out of an unlicensed party pontoon boat docked in Jacksonville.Stay tuned for more updates as we continue tracking these fascinating developments!